Self Love

Being Intentional

The meaning of self-love if you asked me a few years ago was as follows, take care of others and this was you taking care of you. In other words, the wellbeing of others was always the most important thing, anything different than this was selfish, OH BOY!

It took me years to realize that what I had heard about self-love, was wrong. This was liberating, yet scary, to value, nurture and accept all parts of me, this was different. Even worse, I had no idea how to do this. Yet, this new concept was appealing.

Some background for reference, at the age of 15 I got married to a person that was very abusive, he manipulated me and convince me I was defective, no one would love me and caring for others (Him) meant I would be loved by others; therefore, this was what I needed to do.  So I had no argument, my role was to care for others, and leave me for last, plus I needed to be grateful for having all my needs covered, and being perceived as selfish was not something I should be seeking.

In my suffering I questioned my “Joy Meter” which is what I refer to as my satisfaction with life, which on a scale of 1-10 (1 being nonexistence to 10 being the most joy) it was a 0, picture that. One day I decided, it was okay to be perceived as selfish, Yes, I did this, so the plan change to self-love the heck out of me, but intentionally. This meant, YUP, I accepted that I would be perceived as it, and that was okay, because my internal voice was getting louder. This voice said, “LOVE you more, do it now”. 

So, I became INTENTIONAL about Self-Loving me. I started to work on: Self-Acceptance, Sefl Care, Setting Boundaries, Self-Forgiveness, Positive Self-Talk, Prioritizing My Mental Health, Celebrating Achievements, Practicing Mindfulness
No longer comparing myself, and getting rid of people that did not value me, like my ex. Today, I will make sure I practice SELF-LOVE daily. 

I am going to stop here, because self-love is a topic that I can expand on for years. But I do want to leave you with something, put intention around your self-love. Do it daily, and never doubt you loving you. You also deserve to be loved by others, yet never subscribe to the belief that loving others first will get you the love you deserve.

Self-love is not about arrogance or selfishness, is about cultivating a healthy and positive relationship with yourself. If you have a healthy relationship with the self, you can rest assured that this will impact your relationships with others and your overall well-being.

Lastly remember, SELF-LOVE doesn’t happen from one day to the next, it takes time and commitment, to YOU!